BBC NEWS | Reviews

Boredom is for Assholes...
Enter BoredShitless.com!
"I laughed my cock off!" Alf Hart

"Excellent!... superb!... Funny as Fuck!"
BBC man on the spot, Alf Hart has exceptionally high regard for the dynamic new boredom-buster site, BoredShitless.com...

When Mike Oxlong, M.D. of BoredShitless Plc. first dared to dream he could create the BoredShitless empire, he was nothing but a snotty little 9 year old computer geek. Now, almost eleven and already a multi-millionaire,
Mike takes a moment to reflect on his success...
"Well it was a piece of piss really" explains Mike, "Hardest part is getting out of bed every afternoon to count my dosh. The chicks don't like me to leave them alone in bed for too long, they say Ill get lazy, but hey...we all have our crosses to bear!"

So tell me Mike, how did you create the catch-phrase, 'BoredShitless'?
"You've heard the common saying, 'I wish I had a shit less boredom'. I realised all I needed to do was take the essential key words from this phrase and Bingo! IwishIhada was born. This didn't really hit the spot for me, nor did Ihadawish, so a forty strong team of advertising guru's came up with 'BoredShitless' after just nine short months. Apparently it was suggested by a tea lady serving biscuits to the team...she just happened to notice that's how they all looked and blurted it out! Cheeky cow. I sacked her!"

It's hard to believe you've achieved so much in so short a time...what's next?
"I'll have sleep on that one! But to give you a subtle hint, lets just say that after the book, the film and the T-shirt, comes...the car sticker. And it's going to be colossal. Should gross enough dough for me to retire at 15".

In conclusion, although Mike Oxlong may appear to many to be a total dick, his empire goes from strength to strength. Long may we all be....

Alf Hart